Practicing self-love is one of the most important and yet the hardest things to accomplish. From very early on, we’re taught that we can’t love others if we don’t love ourselves. However, the truth of the matter is that we’re not always going to be head over heels for ourselves. We’re going to through some pretty unlovable moments in our lives and it’s going to hurt. In those moments–and in all the others throughout our lives–being able to practice self-loveirrespective of how we’re feeling about ourselves should be non-negotiable. Practicing self-love should be a part of our routines–one that we cling to with discipline even in the moments when we feel unmotivated.The question is, how do we do this? Let’s find out
Take Time for Yourself
This is a tough one, especially for parents of young children. However, it can be just as tough ifyou’resingle or don’t have any children. Trying to find the time to restore your energy while you’re also tryingto juggle relationships, your career, hobbies, and a routine, can feel like pulling teeth. However, it hasto be done. We have to all make the conscious effort to carve out a sliver of time to ourselves or we’llend up wound up, burnt out, and irritableinthe silliest of situations. Taking a few minutes a day to dosomething that is just for you and the nourishment of your soul is a must. Reada book, go for a walk,or just sloth it out on the couch in perfect silence. Whatever it is, do it, and do it for you.
Practice Self-Care
In the moments when we’re unwell, tired, stressed, anxious, or sad, practicing self-care can feel like atreacherous task that would be better left for–well–better days. But this is the most important timeto practice self-care. Even if it’s somethingsmall like spending an extra $10 on your favorite bubblebath and body scrub, do it! Loving and nurturing yourself should never be saved for a special occasion.Your existence isaspecial occasion.
Create a Community of Positivity
Surrounding yourself with positive people will help you to see the good in yourself. While you don’twant to be surrounded by “yes men”, you do want people around you who uplift you. These wouldgenerally be the people who know you better than anyone else and who challenge you to be the verybest version of yourself while simultaneously lifting you up when you’re feeling down. Find your tribeand allow them to love you.
Celebrate Your Wins
When we were kids, we got pats on the back when we did something seemingly trivial like batting ourfirst ball or coloring in a picture. We got medals, awards, and trophies. Now that we’re older, we don’tget as much fanfare as we used to. It should go without saying, but our brain can’t make sense of notgetting that little hit of celebratory dopamine. So, you can go ahead and provide yourself with it.Celebrating your wins–no matter how small–doesn’t make you vain or superficial. It makes youhuman. It makes you someone whoenjoys reveling in this journey called life and appreciating thehighs that you work hard to achieve.
Indulge Your Senses
It is perfectly ok to indulge yourself every once in a while. In fact, it’s necessary!Depriving yourself oflife’s little pleasures doesn’t make you a better person. It will only make you miserable. Now, it needsto be said that people who are disciplined and who don’t crave certain things aren’t miserable people.That’s not where we’re going with this. However, if you do find yourself craving a piece of chocolatecake or a day at the spa, go right on ahead and do it. Everything in moderation is great! It’s good forthe soul and the mind.
Focus on Your Health
Flouting your responsibility toward yourself for any reason is never a good thing. No one is going tocome and tell you to eat your vegetables or to drink your water and get to bed at a reasonable hour.You have to be that person in your life now. Taking care of your health is, arguably, the pinnacle ofself-love. Without good health, you cannot enjoy the life that you’ve created. Health is everything.Start small and take measures to create new habits that promote good health. Thereafter, it will befar easier to cut out the bad habits that you want to get rid of.
Quit Comparing Yourself
Ever heard the saying, ‘Don’t go comparing apples to oranges’? Well, this Is exactly what that oldadage was referring to. When you compare yourself to others, you cheapen your experience in thislife.When you’re constantly focused on someone else’s plateof cake, you miss out on the fact thatthere are a whole bunch of flies landing on yours. Fortune cookie phrases and sayings aside, comparingyourself to others will suck the joy right out of your life. Everyone is going through things that theydon’t talk about (or post about). Focus on yourself. That’s the only person you should be comparingyourself to and competing with.
Ask for Help
If there’s one thing that many of us can’t seem to do, it’saskfor help.Asking for help doesn’t makeyou some type ofweak person. Everybody on the face of this earth needs help from time to time. Ifthe people in your life make you feel bad about asking for help, you need to strongly reconsider whoyou’re allowing into your circle of trust. Whether it’s a work or personal issue that you’re strugglingwith, asking for help from the right people will be a sign that you’re willing to admit when you’re notat the peak of your game. Moreover, it will show strength and accountability.
Say No!
Learn to say no–to everything! If something is not for you or doesn’t sit right with your energy, learnto say no without having to justify why it’s a “no”. No is a complete sentence. Sure, there are instanceswhere an explanation is warranted, but something quick such as, “I don’t have the mental energy todo that/deal with that right now,” is more than enough. Ifyou’reunsure of whether you’re being takenadvantage of or something just doesn’t feel right, say no.
Love Others
Finally, love others. Loving others completely as they are without wanting to change them or comingdown on them for who they are is the quickest way to learn to love yourself–assumed warts and all.Set healthy boundaries for yourself, but don’t make the love that you give contingent on someoneelse conforming to your ideas of how they should be.
Self-love isn’t a feeling, it’s a choice that you make followedbyactions that you take. A world filledwith people who love themselves and show it would be a brighter, braver, and more beautiful world.
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